After we had our third child, something changed for me. I started to wonder what was wrong with me. I felt a whole new level of overwhelmed. It took me a while, even as a therapist, to realize that the question shouldn’t be what is wrong with me; it should be what is happening to me. I was overstimulated. I was so overstimulated that I couldn’t focus on one thought and felt like I just wanted to scream, and sometimes I did. Now, I try hard to ask myself in the moment, “what is happening to me and what do I need?” Below are three things everyone needs to understand about an overstimulated parent.
3 Things Everyone Needs to Understand About an Overstimulated Parent
1. What it means.
When overstimulated, the body and brain take in more information than the body and brain can actively process. Overstimulation can be more severe for highly sensitive parents or people with a low tolerance for stimulation. Everyday chaos for some might not be an issue, but for highly sensitive people, overstimulation can affect them mentally, emotionally, and physically. For me, chaos, background noise, multiple people talking at once, and complex directions are some of the things that cause overstimulation. If this resonates with you, take some time to reflect on what your triggers might be. If you are unsure if you are a highly sensitive parent, The Highly Sensitive Parent by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., has a self-test in her book that can help you gain awareness.
2. What it looks like.
Overstimulation can affect us mentally, emotionally, and physically. It might look like a loss of focus, feeling overwhelmed, frustration, anger, irritability, and anxiety, to name a few. It can also affect our gastrointestinal, endocrine, nervous, and immune systems (Aron, 2020).
3. What we need.
Not every coping skill works for everyone, but here are a few tips to help understand what an overstimulated parent might need.
- Understanding. Communication with your partner or loved ones that are in your daily life is crucial. If you are a parent that gets overstimulated often, help others understand your feelings, what is going on for you and what you need.
- Reduce the stimulation. Find a quiet space, if possible, to practice deep breathing or other mindfulness-based techniques until symptoms reduce. To learn more mindfulness-based techniques, read more here.
- Check nutrition. Rest, food, and water can help reduce symptoms.
Conclusion
Most people experience overstimulation, but it can be more severe for highly sensitive parents or people with a low tolerance for stimulation. It is important to understand what it means, what it looks like, and what an overstimulated parent needs, whether for yourself or someone else in your life. You got this.
References
Aron, E.N. (2020). The highly sensitive parent: Be brilliant in your role, even when the world overwhelms you. Citadel.